My Strawberry Soufflé

Shouldn’t success and happiness be the achievement of what we love to its own end, knowing that end might be private and personal?  - Felicia Sullivan from Love,Life,Eat 

This morning I came upon Felicia’s blog. Having been at the Bouchercon mystery convention this weekend, her column really hit home—I’ve just spent the last three days with hundreds of authors and was struck over and over by how many of us expressed unhappiness about our careers.

 So many talked about not feeling like a “success”.

 Why? I asked again and again.

There were authors who complained they get nominated for awards but never win. Others who said they often win awards, but don’t have sales. Or they get sales but no reviews. Or were upset they get reviews but no nominations for awards. Or are frustrated they are published in trade paperback instead of hardcover, or in mass market and not trade… you get the idea.

The Dali Lama said if you compare yourself to people who have more than you, you will always be unhappy.  But if you compare yourself to people who have less that you, you will always be happy.

I think that’s amazing advice but I’d even go further and ask do we have to compare ourselves to anyone? Can every writer really be “big”? Does every book honestly have that potential? Is it easier for some topics and kinds of books to take off? Or win awards? Or get reviews?  And what if you don’t write those kind of books?

The measure of achievement is not winning awards. It’s doing something that you appreciate, something you believe is worthwhile. I think of my strawberry soufflé. I did that at least twenty-eight times before I finally conquered it. — Julia Child

I think the most important thing we as writers can do is figure out how we define what success will mean to us and focus on that.

This weekend one writer was complimenting me on AuthorBuzz.com, my marketing company. She told me how much we’d helped her then followed up with a question. She wanted to know why, since we do such great work, I’m not a mega-name author and asked how I feel about not being a “real success.”

I was honestly surprised. I’m realistic about my career as a novelist. I’m certainly not a superstar and far far from a house hold name, but I feel successful.

From the very beginning I envisioned success as selling enough books so I could keep getting published and continue to write what I wanted to without compromising.

Did I want to be a bestseller, make millions and get amazing reviews? If you’d asked I’m sure I would have said yes, but that just wasn’t what I thought about. I was focused about having the kind of long term career that would allow me to keep writing, because writing is what saves my life each and every day.

So here I am 14 years later with my 14^th novel to be published in 2014. Im published in 28 countries and I’ve sold enough copies of all those books to feel it wouldn’t be ladylike to mention the number and I’ve never comprised what I wanted to write.

Am I a success?  

Are you?

Clearly it all depends on who you ask. Or maybe if you’re smart you’ll stop asking anyone and not look beyond yourself to figure it out. Because is it what anyone else thinks, or is it what you think?

As Felicia asks in her blog, do you want to be big? Or bold? Be popular or remarkable? Or all of them?

One of my favorite poets, Mary Oliver, wrote: Tell me, what is it you plan to do / with your one wild and precious life?



I am pretty sure no author at Bouchercon, or author reading this blog would think that worrying about meeting some arbitrary measure of success is worth spending that one life on.

 

Comments

[SamanthaBoyette]

I will feel like a super success when I make enough money to have writing pay the bills! Right now, since all my books are digital on amazon costing .99 or 1.99, I feel like I'm a success because people have bought them. Even better, the ones who have taken the time to review them liked them well enough that my goodreads review score is almost four stars. That is simple happiness and success right there.

[Jimnduncan]

Kind of the glass half empty syndrome it seems. For me, I feel rather both ways. I was successful in achieving actual publication. I got to put 3 books out there on the shelves, and then unfortunately, didn't get contracted for another. I feel successful. I've done what many will only ever hope to do. I want to continue getting published however, so I get the "I lost it" feeling that goes along with that. On the other hand, regardless of publication, the simple fact of completing an entire story, of creating lives and places where those lives have things happen to them is an amazing success all on its own. The ladder of success is not always a straight, vertical climb.

[Drmabuse]

I've heard three incidents of nasty behavior arising out of professional jealousy from Bouchercon and the literary world in the last week. This kind of petty resentment is just foreign to me. Because I'm too damn busy being my own worst critic and trying to get work done.

But for a certain kind of author or figure in the publishing world, nothing is ever enough. For others (and I count myself in this category), every small success is a marvelous surprise, a hilarious outcome you cannot believe that clashes against that inner voice who wishes to put forth that you are an impostor.

The best way to deal with even the smallest success is to be yourself, be interested in others, and not take things all that seriously. Better to devote anxieties to what really counts: putting out the best work you can.

[M.J. Rose]

Drmabuse -every time you write to me here or at Twitter I am once again reminded how special you are. Yours is so much the better attitude to have. I'm sorry we didn't get to actually talk at Bouchercon!

[Petrea Burchard]

Damn, I thought you were famous!

I mean, I've never met you and I've heard about you and your books, read your excellent reviews. I wonder how that happened?

[M.J. Rose]

Thanks Petrea - I just don't know:)