Buzz, Balls & Hype : THE DOCTOR IS IN

Listen to me make a royal fool of myself, in fabulous company, in the most recent Litopia After Dark podcast!

Dear Dr. Sue,

I tend to be a really enthusiastic person, and I just sold my first novel to a really prestigious publisher but instead of being thrilled, I feel detached. I don't know why this is, though I've thought that maybe I'm too afraid that something is going to go wrong to allow myself to be happy about it, or maybe I want to be under the radar so as not to be embarrassed if things do go wrong, or maybe it's something else. But while I recognize that this is ridiculous, I can't seem to shake this feeling of detachment. Do you have any advice?

Would like to feel thrilled

Dear Like,

Congratulations on the sale of your novel! Of course you want to be fully engaged with such an exciting experience.

The possible reasons you list for your feeling of detachment seem plausible. The transition from omnipotent creator of an entire world to cog in an unstable machine that will determine the fate of that world is jarring and fraught, and emotional withdrawal would be an understandable reaction. Other possibilities include a jealous or competitive family member or important friend whose continued love and support require you to stay in a "one-down" position; a major life change or decision you have postponed until your novel was out of limbo; or the revival of grief for a lost loved one who would have delighted in this triumph. Or, as you say, maybe it's something else.

As you suggest, to dissolve this bubble that surrounds you it is probably necessary to identify the material it is composed of. One important step in accomplishing this is to ease up on characterizations like "ridiculous." There are always valid reasons for seemingly incomprehensible responses--and when we judge our emotions harshly (as so many of us have been trained to do), the information that would help us understand and address our conflicts tends to bury itself deeper in our unconscious.

Try outlining a story whose main character is on the verge of realizing the fulfillment of a lifelong dream. This character--let's call her or him "X"--is sympathetic but complex and somewhat conflicted. Flesh the backstory out with as much detail as possible--what is X's family and cultural background? What dream is about to come true, and what obstacles has X overcome to get to this point? Who has helped or hindered X in this quest? What are the likely repercussions of failure? Of success? What would it take for the story to end well--or unhappily?

Don't use your own experience--use your writer's imagination to create a unique set of circumstances. Try to live in X's world for a day or two, supplying as much information, and as many insights into the central conflict, as you can.

When you feel finished with X's story, sit down in a quiet place and reflect on your own. Outline your situation and its background as you did X's, as though you were the main character in a fascinating story (which you are). How would you understand a character who is unable to get excited about a major positive life event? How would you resolve such a conflict?

If you come up dry--or if you hit on material that threatens to overwhelm you--stop the exercise. Remember, your responses are in place for a reason--and the reason may be to protect you from intense anxiety or grief. Consider consulting a professional. You deserve to savor every moment of this process, and expert help in addressing any issues that prevent you from full engagement and participation is is a sound investment.

Susan O'Doherty, Ph.D., is a clinical psychologist with a New York City-based practice. A fiction writer herself, she specializes in issues affecting writers and other creative artists. Her book, Getting Unstuck Without Coming Unglued: A Woman's Guide to Unblocking Creativity (Seal, 2007) is now available in bookstores. Send your questions to her at Dr.Sue at mindspring dot com.