THE DOCTOR IS IN

Dr. Sue,

What’s wrong with me? Why can’t I write when I know I can?  I haven’t written anything in over 10 years, since I finished my college degree.  But the same could be said about anything that I want or need.  I feel like what is needed or wanted is from the person over there. And the other part of me would pursue what others wanted me to do for my family, school, or job.  It seems I can do anything when I am obligated or answerable to others. And the things that may make me happy are pushed aside.

I have learned that I am dyslexic & ADD.   Could this be why I am living my life this way?  Never giving in to my emotions because I deny everything that is to feel. Why don’t I pursue things that matter to me?  And yet I know I thrive on challenges but I am like the waking dead, knowing what I always want to become but never coming close. 

Or is it that writing is my perfect dream, and therefore unobtainable & not for me? 

What can I do to pass beyond this barrier of knowing & go after my writing?  Or anything that I want?

Thank you for your time.

Ann

Dear Ann,

People with ADHD (the official clinical designation regardless of degree of hyperactivity) and learning disabilities often grow up feeling inadequate and wrong. Although many are highly gifted, their gifts are unlikely to flourish in a conventional classroom, where their distractibility, impulsiveness, and information-processing difficulties can frustrate even the most experienced and dedicated teachers. Parents' despair over a child's messiness, social immaturity, and poor school performance can overshadow appreciation of the child's strengths.

Too often, such children come to think of themselves as "stupid" or "losers." The question "What's wrong with me?" feels more apt than "How can I make the best use of my talents?" It's hard to write when you believe you have nothing worth saying, and that nobody wants to listen to you anyway.

Compounding the self-perception problem is the fact that many people with ADHD struggle with organizational and time management issues. It's hard to visualize a project; it's hard to get started; it's hard to resume it once your energy has been diverted to something else. It's easier to follow someone else's blueprint and timeline than to devise your own.

You don't say whether you are in any kind of treatment for the issues that have been identified. For some people, medication, cognitive remediation, and/or organizational skills training can improve the ability to organize and plan, making it easier to initiate projects and to see them to completion.

Even if you're functioning well, though, a history of perceived failure can be difficult to overcome. If you struggle with feelings of inferiority or worthlessness, please talk to a professional who can help you learn to take your emotions, aspirations, and gifts seriously and to pursue them in a focused and systematic way.

Susan O'Doherty, Ph.D., is a clinical psychologist with a New York City-based practice. A fiction writer herself, she specializes in issues affecting writers and other creative artists. Her book,  Getting Unstuck Without Coming Unglued: A Woman's Guide to Unblocking Creativity, was published by Seal Press in June, 2007. Send your questions to her at Dr.Sue at mindspring dot com.

Comments

[herbal remedy]

Very inspiring Dr. Sue. I agree, concentration problems triggering learning disabilities would not work well in a classroom or a corporate setting. But then again, people with ADHD are intelligent and naturally skilled. Surely their condition would find good use in a dynamic and less demanding setting.

In terms of treatment, some ADHD patients have turned to holistic methods, particularly herbal supplements for ADHD that use Gingko Biloba and other herbal extracts. Below is a related article to this end.

http://ezinearticles.com/?ADD-and-ADHD---Herbal-Remedies&id=730283

[Katharine Weber]

Ann, I do think you should, if you can, check in with a professional to assess the issues, as Sue suggests. So many people have writing bottled up inside them and finding some comfort and ease with all the connected issues can really make the difference that would allow you to begin to do the writing you want to do.

Additionally, please take a look and see if this feels like a match for you: www.starfound.org. Many creative yet blocked people have found Star to be enormously helpful.