Dear Book Biz Santa—
I never ask for much. In fact, this year I want just one thing. I hope you can arrange it. I tried to be good. I worked really hard. For my new novel CREEPERS, I went to 43 signings in a total of nine states. Not counting airline miles, I logged 4,500 miles in rental cars.
Believe me, sometimes things didn’t work out as planned. I had a signing in Brentano’s, the big book store in LA’s Century City. But that was the evening a power surge knocked out the electricity in much of Los Angeles. Six people were in the store—five clerks and me.
Another time I went to Wright Patterson Air Force Base outside Dayton, Ohio. That was the day they decided to have a Delta security alert. I was lucky to get onto the base. Not that it made a difference. With everyone in lock-down mode, the PX (as large as a Wal-Mart) was deserted. My publisher CDS Books sent a one-minute animated trailer designed for the novel’s website . The sound effects include a CLANG, CLANG, CLANG that’s an important element in the plot. This was on a continuous-loop DVD that played on a TV next to me. For two hours, in an empty PX, I heard CLANG, CLANG, CLANG and finally left the base, twitching.
But at most of the signings, tons of wonderful people showed up and . . . Hey, I just had a great idea. I bet you get really tired after delivering presents to everybody. I bet you want to sit back, kick off your boots, and read a good book. If you’ll tell me your address, I’ll have Fed Ex deliver a signed copy of CREEPERS. The plot’s about urban explorers--history and architecture enthusiasts who infiltrate old buildings that have been sealed and abandoned for decades. Basically, they’re trying to get the feeling of going back in time. But the deserted hotel they choose proves that the darkest secrets live in places we’re not supposed to be.
If you like the plot, maybe you could give me a publicity quote. Something like “Creepy.” With your name next to that, I’m sure I’d get more readers. Or how about “What a book!” Or “Morrell keeps doing it.” Or “I can honestly say I’ve never read anything quite like it.” That would be terrific of you. What a fantastic Christmas present that would be. But actually, that’s not what I was planning to ask from you.
I love thrillers. Last night, I dreamed about a conference that would be like the MGM movie studio used to be and have more stars than in the sky. It would be the first International Thriller Writers reader/author event. ThrillerFest. A gala at the end of June of 2006 at my favorite hotel in the whole world, the Arizona Biltmore resort in Phoenix. Frank Lloyd Wright helped design it. You can feel the history of it, the glamour of the movie stars that loved to go there in the 1940s.
A who’s who of thriller writers would give presentations and have fun with readers in the first event of its kind. Brad Meltzer. John Lescroart. R.L. Stine. Douglas Preston. Lee Child. Gayle Lynds. Tess Gerritsen. Barrie Eisler. John Saul, James Rollins. M.J. Rose. Steve Berry. Lee Goldberg. Katherine Neville. F. Paul Wilson. JA Konrath. David Hewson. These would be just a few of the fabulous authors who’d be there. Top thriller editors and agents would attend. There’d be all kinds of workshops about writing thrillers. We’d have a website to tell everybody about it: ThrillerFest.
Doesn’t that sound cool, Santa? If you can make that happen, you and Mrs.Claus would be our special guests. You could even bring a couple of elves and hang around the water slide at the pool. I hear rumors that you’re working on a thriller called SLAUGHTER AT THE NORTH POLE. Great title. We could help you promote the book. So what do you say? Thanks a bunch, Santa. Don’t forget to send me your address so I can Fed Ex CREEPERS for a blurb. I know it’s a work day for you. Even so, Merry Christmas.
Your Fan,
David Morrell
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