10 Commandments on approaching real life police for advice on your thriller/mystery/crime novel
By Michele Lee
1. Thou shall look professional. Do not wear a black t shirt and ripped jeans with thous upturned cross necklace and the spine from the cat thou shot when thou were seventeen that tou use as a wallet chain now.
2. Also, Human parts probably aren’t a good idea either, no matter how old.
3. Thou shall not ask which wine goes best with long pig. It’s suspicious. And it’s red.
4. Thou shall not ask very specific things, like what size hole a butcher knife makes. Again it’s suspicious and there are already pictures on the internet.
5. Thou shall not make pork jokes. Sweaty people really do smell like that sometimes.
6. Thou shall always acknowledge them in the book. Cops already have a job filled with a lack of appreciation, and who couldn’t use a faster response to calls?
7. Thou shall not send them doughnuts. Often they can get them for free already.
8. Thou shall not leave your questions on the anonymous tip line.
9. Thou Shall not ask when you’re fall down drunk and the cops are escorting you to a "safe place to spend the night".
10. Thou shall not yell questions from your bedroom window to the officers on the scene of the police shooting next door.
Michele Lee is a not-quite-amateur writer published so far in Cthulhu Sex Magazine and Read by Dawn volume One. She chronicles her path to publication in a blog aptly named, Michele Lee and the Road to Print, which can be found at michelelee.blogspot.com .